I cried again tonight.

I found a book I hadn't opened in a long time. And I felt with everything that seems to be working itself out somehow.. it needed to be opened.

I saw the note on the top left.
I saw the letter.
Dated Feb. 20th. 2006.

I saw the pictures.
Squirrel Chelsee.
3 best buds.
Kisses in vans gallore.
Tiaras and glowy glasses.
Your hand on my arm.

I saw:
I love your body.I love your touch.I love your eyes.I love your perfect smile.I love your lips. I love rubbing my fingers through your hair. I love touching your body. I love how you are perfect for me. I love your silly touque. I love your black shirts. I love laying with you. I love being held in your arms. I love spooning with you. I love holding your hand. I love kissing you. I love hugging you. I love laughing with you. I love how you kiss me everywhere millions of times. I love how my mom loves you. I love our txt msg romance. I love your girlish laugh when I tickle you. I love how crazy I am about you. I love napping with you. I love how many times you woke me up on our sleepover. I love how tall you are. I love how I fit perfectly with you. I love smiling with you. I love how we used to wear the same sized pants. I love how I get jealous of every girl you talk to. I love how you play guitar. I love how your voice sounds. I love going to your shows. I love supporting you. I love when you come wake me up. I love your silly facial hair. I love when we play videogames together. I love how I can't get through a day without thinking about you. I love how loyal you are to me. I love our diaryland romance. I love our nexopia romance. I love our everywhere and everything romance. I love talking about you. I love how people can tell when I'm thinking about you. I love you.

I saw that you wanted me to remember.
After you were gone.
Almost like you predicted it.

I've added.

I also saw 2 stick people.
I saw peanut butter and jelly.
I saw excitment in 5 days.
I saw california scares.
I saw how scared I was of fights.
I saw 25 cute things.
I saw me being a bad influence.

I saw more pictures.
Necklaces.
Gardens.
Silly faces.
A man loving his gals.
Camera shy.
Hiding.
Handholding.
Belt holding. <3
Making me feel so safe.

I saw no more alone.

I saw the best hug in the world.

And then I saw hate.
SO MUCH HATE.

It's been a long day.
I'm tired.
Had a few breakdowns.
Plane delays.
But I'm home now.
Back at Jacinda.

I'm still... not complete though.

xoChelsea.

yesterday - tomorrow